My One Change That Worked: The Way I Conquered Post-Work Tension Through an Surprising Find in the Attic

I frequently become as tense as a wound-up clock once the workday ends. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Typically, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Later, a few months ago, I came across an old school recorder belonging to my grown son in the attic. I idly blew into it, instantly reminded of the time it was the bane of my life – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

Instead of throwing it away, I took it down, together with a beginner’s songbook. As a child, I was the least musical child ever. I’d had recorder lessons at infant school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and printed out a fingering chart. Looking up simple recorder songs, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I persevered – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. My inability to remember anything meant I had to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of me, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, I was focused, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I was overjoyed. I could play an instrument.

Today, several months later, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Sure, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but for me, it’s not about skill or being a musician – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, as well as my son’s.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work as my first activity, and during those 20 minutes, I escape into my own realm. And afterwards, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me that I was reducing stress, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s truly an ode to joy.